On this day, in my journal
September 12, 2024:
7.31 am, London, 8°C
There’s not much going on in my life. I’m getting coffee with Stephen and working on code with Henna and sitting down with that guy I don’t like to get some work done in the middle. I hope today is a productive day and I’m able to sort through a good chunk of work! There’s quite a lot on my to-do list. Thank god I only have to work for four more days before I take some time off!
I’m not sure why Stephen said yes to coffee. It may be saying yes in that way Danny keeps saying yes to Martha. Sometimes the yes comes out before you’ve even realised you’ve said it. Sometimes it doesn’t come out at all.
I suppose it’s silly that a week from now, I’ll be in a continent I’ve never stepped foot in before. I have no idea what to pack. How we’ll spend our time, what we’ll eat, where we’ll stay. It’s really cold in here. I wouldn’t like to imagine how cold it’ll be in Vancouver.
September 12, 2025:
5.01 pm, AD, 40°C
I decided to just start a blog.
I was brushing my teeth last night and I realised that I didn’t need to know Javascript to have a website. I could just post stuff and then maybe play around with the HTML and CSS. And then once I finished Foundations, I could find something that let me play around with JavaScript too. And then once I finished the whole course, I could make a website. But I don’t need to wait.
I spend a lot of my time here in my head. There is nothing to say at the dinner table. I don’t know the rules, nor do I want to learn them. It hurts to listen to people talk over each other. Everything is obvious and there is no room for curiosity or play. I will always just be the London girl to them.
September 12, 2026:
7.34 am, Toronto, 15°C
It’s so nice sitting on the couch. It would be nice to sit out here all the time.
I wish it wasn’t rude to inspect someone’s place when you went to visit them for the first time. I’m thinking about how many fun little things she had around the flat and how much I wanted to look around and take it all in. But I couldn’t do it and we were in the middle of talking. Would it have been okay if we were at the start of talking? That’s a little joke. I’m trying something out.
I guess what’s nice is only 39% of my salary goes towards rent and bills here. It was 41% in London. Rule of thumb is 30, I think. I hope to one day get to a point where a one-bed isn't a laughable idea. I feel like I’ve had a good balance of saving money while still enjoying my life. Like, I’m going to restaurants and cafes and Montreal. I don’t feel like I’m living in constraint. Maybe I should feel the squeeze.
Oh, it's one year of Bear today. How lovely.