Mind the gap
English feels like my native language seems like the quickest, truest way to tell a story but I’m often faced with, at the best of times, confusion and follow-up questions and, at the worst of times, doubts about my honesty.
Now I say English feels like my native language and I think in English, which is longer but more tangible. It has a real unit of measurement that people can touch and hold, regardless of their understanding of how languages work. My inner monologue is in English. My dreams are in English. When I stub my toe, the first words out of my mouth are in English. I can only swipe-type in one language: English.
I don’t drink seems like the quickest, truest way to tell a story but I’m often faced with, at the best of times, confusion and follow-up questions and, at the worst of times, someone who has assigned me a religious label.
Now I say I don’t drink anymore, which is longer but answers lingering questions. I don’t know what those questions are but I know race plays a part, which I don’t mind much. I just don’t care to share my thoughts about Allah at a pub called The Fox and Hounds or whatever.
I don’t have Instagram seems like the quickest, truest way to tell a story but I’m often faced with, at the best of times, confusion and follow-up questions and, at the worst of times, a guy I just met who no longer wants to be my friend.
Now I say I deleted my Instagram, which is longer and feels less true because it implies recency when it happened years ago but it also addresses the elephant in the room. But everybody has Instagram. Are you just hiding yours from me? No, I used to have one and now I don't. I created my first account not long after I started wearing bras. I decided to delete it because of all the stuff you don’t like about it.
Noticing this has made me enjoy telling a story for the first time without worrying too much about how it'll land. It's a chance to take a story holistically, like a crocheter inspecting a mid-project sweater, and pay attention to how trying to rush through a story in few words can leave you vulnerable to these little gaps where misunderstandings can form. And what's a few more words for a complete story and a sweater with no big holes?